Remember when it used to be okay for different people or people with other heritages to talk to an accepting adult more than being bunched with others of their age?

I seemed smart as a child in school.

New Decision

take ballet/jazz/tap

I guess I'll do cross country and track.

...and track and field.

No weightlifting..

Cross country looks good.

..and cheerleading requires intermediate/advanced gymnastics! it seems.

I did call and left a message to see if I could do anything.

Dance team is too hard, too many spins in a hard position..

They have swimming lessons!  That's what I wanted to do now!

Maybe the dance... I just hated the tryout video and stopped watching.

Hm, maybe they have gymnastics?

I am trying to find something like cheerleading or dancing to do because I'm too buff.

Okay, time to check out sports at UCF!

I actually always liked things like the children's music, basic nostalgic folk music, Catholic hymns, and my favorite now classical music.  I also respect musical theater, especially people like Lerner & Loewe and Rogers & Hammerstein.  I don't know where I'd be without them!

To Guys Who Went Into the Armed Forces

It's called pullovers, not the pullup, and it's timed..

Most people who don't do anything are good at making moves, too.

...and they dance until they get tired physically and supposedly started relatively young, maybe between 6 and 12, though I went through puberty early myself.

If you think no one can dance, you're wrong.  People who play violin, other instruments too maybe especially strings, dance beyond belief.  You can't do it.

...but I got out of horrifying private swim class.

"One Final Question" - "The Point of No Return"

I did gymnastics classes (not on a team on purpose, I decided,) how was dance/ballet??  I wonder if I should have done both.  My mom put me in swimming and later ballet.

My dad already said I have to support myself if he dies, I guess relatively soon.  I used to hang around and try to practice violin without college, but I switched out of piano into violin later on and so am not as good though think it's a fun new idea.

UCF has a BM in Violin, but I can only do the BA in Violin because I'm not advanced but still, and I can get into it.

FAFSA

for UCF

grant - covers tuition (and textbooks) and some extra
loan - covers dorm and food and some extra

(link)

I'm applying for those 9 jobs!

Alarm! It's true!

People I care about in my future think I'm not that good and say so comparing me to other people and tapering off.

I'm not less worthy than someone just because they are older.

People who make a weird statement have been so since around 2000 or so.

Jesus!

He says a small favor from one is greater than a great favor from those with more to offer..

It's too expensive to dye my hair to blonde ... anyway.

I'll dye it more natural next month.  Eventually, the darker hair growing in will look awkward.

German is a bridge into other cultures.

...oh, Spanish, I already had it for 4 years and won an award.

A Conundrum

If Germany thinks we should dip into England before we try them out, even in language, it seems we've already had our share!

People from Ireland and Up North in the US fantasize that they can have command over people from elsewhere with any Irish ancestry.

Feng Shui

I feel much more energized.

I couldn't finish it!

Breakfast!

Breakfast

oatmeal with brown sugar and milk

Breakfast

4 scrambled eggs

small bottle of Mocha

Blondes all lighten their hair when they get older and it's actually dark.

Don't worry, I have to get it done in a salon!

I also use straight fix shampoo!

I like the faded light look as opposed to my love for reddish brown hair varieties.

It's easy to go back.  Just go to the salon and show them your roots and get it done.

(link)

(link)

I want to dye my hair lighter again because so many people have dark hair.  Often, the blondes are seen in a better and a special light!

With the help of my mom and dad and outside resources, I grew up lucky, healthy.

I feel as though if I try to accomplish anything, people will say they are better because, despite their setbacks, they are better if you take out my supposedly unfair advantages.  Then, I am "rejected."

(link)

(link)

Germans think I am morally bad but cut out the morality when it comes to addressing them.  It's because of things like being 1/2 Asian.

I don't mind if Germans are a little mean to me, but if I think they're really being mean then they will probably notice I did not accept.  If they can speak out, so can I.

Popular Song in 2007

"This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot
This is why
This is why, uh
This is why I'm hot (uh)
This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot, woo
This is why
This is why
This is why I'm hot
I'm hot 'cause I'm fly (fly)
You ain't 'cause you're not (Mims)
This is why
This is why
This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot
I don't gotta rap
I can sell a mill, sell you nothing on the track
I represent New York
I got it on my back
And they say that we lost it
So I'm a bring it back
I love the dirty, dirty
'Cause niggas show me love
The ladies start to bounce
As soon as I hit the club
But in the Midwest
They love to take it slow
So when I hit the H
I watch you get it on the floor
And if you needed hyphy
I take it to the bay
Frisco to Sac town
They do it e'ryday
Compton to Hollywood
As soon as I hit L.A.
I'm in that low, low
I do it the Cali way
And when I hit the Chi
People say that I'm fly
They like the way I dress, they like (they like my) my attire
Move crowds from side to side
They ask me how I do it, and simply I reply
This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot
This is why
This is why, uh
This is why I'm hot (uh)
This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot, woo
This is why
This is why
This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot
Catch me on the block
Every other day
Another bitch, another drop
Sixteen bars, twenty-four pop
Forty-four songs, nigga, gimme what you got
I'm in there driving cars
Push them off the lot
I'm into shutting stores down so I can shop
If you need a bird, I can get it chopped
Tell me what you need; you know I get 'em by the flock
I call my homey black; meet me on the ave
I hit Wash heights with the money in the bag
We into big spinners
See my pimping never dragged
Find me with different women that you niggas never had
For those who say they know me know I'm focused on my cream
Playa, you come between; you'd better focus on the beam
I keep it so feen the way you see me lean
And when I say I'm hot, my nigga, this is what I mean
This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot
This is why
This is why, uh
This is why I'm hot (uh)
This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot, woo
This is why
This is why
This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot
Shorty see the drop
Ask me what I paid, and I say, "yeah, I paid a quap"
And then I hit the switch that take away the top
So chicks around the way - they call me cream of the crop
They hop in the car
I tell them all about
We hit the studio; they say they like the way I record
I gave you black train, and I did you wrong
So every time I see them, and they tell me that's their song
They say I'm the bomb
They love the way the charm hanging from the neck
And compliments the arm which compliments the ear, then comes the gear
So when I hit the room, the shorties stop and stare
Then niggas start to hate, rearrange their face
Little do they know I keep them things by waist side
I reply, "nobody gotta die"
Similar to Lil' Wiz 'cause I got the fire
This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot
This is why
This is why, uh
This is why I'm hot (uh)
This is why I'm hot
This is why I'm hot, woo
This is why
This is why
This is why I'm hot"

Black people can be scary to whites in anticipation of a nonwhite race.

If you didn't know, I knew for a fact even under 18 that Hitler was to be seen in a forgiving light and put bluntly and recurringly in multiple sources (to a degree,) said to be better than people's dads, and then now is pretty much followed racistly where possible.

White people think they are more loving than colored races because they have more favor and are extra loved.

If you had it in you, you could raise your mixed race child to feel as superior as whites.

"Colored" races/ethnicities want to persuade Asians like me (1/2 white) to be bad to an extreme, while they assimilate into the white race in supposedly superior ways.

Picture of Me Now

I’m applying to work at Targets, which have some seasonal openings.

Me Playing Violin Tonight

My Plan

to work 4 hours a day 5 days a week at least = $169.20/week = $676.80/month + $450/month allowance = $1,126.80/month

I can eat out and finish furnishing my room.

I'm not sure about college/yet.  I can practice violin and learn German on my own.